you seem like a soilder who's lost his composure
you're wounded and play a
waiting game
in no man's land no one's to blame

Gomez's lyrics in "See the World" hits hard as I sit here reflecting on some recent news... wondering where/what God has for our family at the moment. often times we feel as if we are constantly outsiders- juxtaposed between two beliefs, two movements, unable to be pigeonholed into one catergorical stereotype. this does not prevent those on the fringe of our world at attempting to push us into the box that they believe we belong in. one couple, when trying typecast us into the role or character(s) we portray in their screenplay, decided we were...urban. you know, citydwellers who have their noses high in the air or stuck in ikea catalogs (I, am not too sure, myself what urban really ensues) Yes, my husband and I in our country cottage overlooking the sea on a hill, a good hour away from any whole foods or metropolitan market are decidely urbanites. to many in our congregation we stand out as... they haven't quite found the word to sum us up yet, but it varies from granola hippie to independent fundamentalists (we used to associate with a church that is dispensational, so that makes us uptight legalists).

this no man's land is truly a tough place to be- not feeling likeminded with really that many. recently labeled too liberal and- well, wordly, I finally want to throw my hands up and wave a white flag. in high school, I wore a diamond stud in my nose as a way to show my childhood friends and teachers that I was NOT the goody-goody they supposed me to be. I sooo fooled them. now, I am not trying to pull the wool over anyone's eyes and set myself apart to shatter someone's expectations of me. i just wish that there could be a little understanding in some hearts. humans are complex and more than republican, democrat, green, hick, urban, whitetrash, conservative, liberal, etc...

Jesus blew people's expectations constantly, even today, many who follow him (or not) have a hard time agreeing on why follow him in the first place. as i am in no way comparing myself to the Saviour of humanity, but instead taking comfort that i should be allright not being "gotten." as the Pharisees were confused that this Jesus of Nazareth was King of Kings? how can anything, let alone anyone good come from there? surely he must be _____(insert stereotypical list above as pertaining to that day and age)

Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.

-Galatians 1:10

Sometimes I think it would be so much easier to slip into a version of myself more easily explained, and just ascribe to that typecast as society defines it. Let me see my script... "ahem.." (clears her throat readying herself for the lines to be read) "Yes, me, Ashley, the (glances at her role to be played today) treehugger environmentalist... I believe that we should reduce greenhouse gases dramatically and save our rivers and streams above all else. we need to buy local and mind the place that we buy our goods from and..." (Nevermind the fact that I now believe this, regardless of the fact that yes, I am a Christian) This could be fun, maybe a bit exausting and schizophrenic, but nonetheless a real goat-getter. Maybe tomorrow I will play the part of a loony legalist.