Songs that make me go mmhmm

Here's what I'm listening to in the last of '08 (not necessarily borne in 'o' eight)

1. Gobbledigook by Sigur Rós

this song makes me start tapping my brush and dance circles around my easel. best not to look at me when
listen to this song....

2. Waters of March by Holly Cole

it sounds so dramatic and final as seemingly insignificant things are examined and compared to life's
existence. the jazzy buttery voice melts and warms my cold hands.

3. Skinny Love by Bon Iver

NPR rated this song as their fav. Bon song, but I could go so many ways with my choice Bon I songs. First of all, I love the name of his band- Bon Iver a play on words of 'bon hiver' in french means good winter.
how true the title for my life right now. "ghostly and ethereal," "radiating otherworldly beauty" was how
this song was described in the rating... accurately so.

4. She Moves in Her Own Way by the Kooks

makes me want to kick my heels up and dance uninhibitedly (great word) ala Elaine Benes... "oh oh, she moves in her own way/oh oh..."

5. Silver Lining & Blacklight (tie) by Rilo Kiley

Jenny Lewis always finds her way in my iPod- whether masked with the watson twins, cloaked in another band name- Rilo Kiley or on her own ticket. also love her collaboration with M.Ward. you can't get any
better than the sassy line in silver lining- "hooray, hooray, i'm your silver lining/ hooray, hooray/ but now i'm gold... the sarcasm of the hooray seeps through. i love how the grass was ticking

6. Pumpkin Seeds by Devendra Banhart

I have wanted to like him for a long time, but none of his songs captured me like this one. the nostalgic-in-retrospect thoughts that ramble in between guitar riffs make me stop and think and ultimately agree that "there's a lot of love, but not the kind i need" I think that is true for most of us.

7. The Garden You Planted by Sea Wolf

i think i have a thing for the mumbled acoustic-y salty sea type lyrics... it sounds like he is singing this song across the pacific to the Atlantic (how does that work exactly? i don't know) and missing her. i can picture
the sweet peas and mums growing and dying in the garden. even the winter frost covers them, but they remain. he misses her. i love my garden even now in this winter snow.

8. Jenny by Tunng

this makes me think of an old record player playing some thoughtful indie music- not being forcefully indie for the sake of it, but a pure lostness of thought. maybe it's very close to Sea Wolf for me. maybe i like
introspective. i also like the added sound effects- tinkling and cassette recorded speech... another close call was "Wind Up Bird" by Tunng... again, they add interesting interlays of talking and clicking and tic-ing... the
beat is fun too. some of the best collage paintings i have seen remind me of this song

9. Only Love Remains by JJ Heller

struck by one of the first Christian bands that is organically true to the creative talent of orchestrating music from the words to the collaboration. she is simple in truth, but thoughtful and radiating convicting as her
words echo my own prayers

10. Ain't No Reason by Brett Dennen

his unique voice is so easily identifiable and lyrics seem to echo his desire to comment on the world around him. "love will come set me free" is the reverberating phrase as he laments the emptiness of mainstream consuming capitalism "working your fingers bear to the bone/
breaking your back make you sell your soul/politicians lie and i am not fooled/ you don't need no reason or a three piece to argue the truth.." he has it a bit wrong as he ends with saying "there ain't no reason we live this way/ it's how its gonna be/ its how its gonna stay" i have a different
perspective- a bit less dooming. still the song is good


11. a new duo that I really like, but won’t force a favorite song because I haven’t found it yet is: Isobel Campbell and Mark Lanegan… his smoky voice melding with her pastille sweet falsetto singing gives you a wonderfully complete piece of art for your ears to feast upon. Listen to (Do you wanna) Come Walk With Me for an example of this.

If you hate the taste of wine, why do you drink it till you're blind

I am thinking of the Tom Petty song where the line goes: "the waiting is the hardest part.." This always seems to creem up in my head as very true in so many situations. Now as I sit and wait for some sort of response, whether good or bad, for one of my recent submissions to a gallery, the songs rings true. However, (I begin now to start to have a debate with myself inside my head) the waiting really is NOT the hardest part. In fact, I think if it meant not being rejected, sometimes I might rather not know. While this is not always my wish in life, closing doors can, in their cliche'-like: when-a-door-closes-another-one-opens sort of way be good, and needed.

Now in this fragile winter twig like way, any bird that sits on me too hard, i might fracture and give it all up. Not really, but the drama is inspiring to me. (How can my own self-invented drama inspire me? I need help)

Some Bright Eyes food for thought on this winter-y December first Monday:

How do I spend my time..

Last night at home group, we were studying on the Sermon on the Mount and we spoke about the commitment that we make when we decide to follow Jesus Christ. When we realize that this life is not about me and I am dependent not upon myself, this world, or various accoutrements. My husband asked what it means, no really, what does it mean? What changes? Your appearance? Maybe. Your speech? Hopefully. What about the way I spend my time?

When I thought about how I used to spend my time- in what directed me- vaulted me from activity to event to excursion. What drove me? Passions, wants, lusts, ambitions… All of these sound stereotypical as emotions and desires that sound like they should be anesthetized or suppressed. However, on a given day, that is what pushes me to make a pumpkin spice latte or listen to the music I crave at that moment. Not all passions, ambitions and desires are bad. How then, does that change the way I move about my day?

In a book that I am currently reading to grow my son into a mature and whole, loving person, I find that I learn more about myself and my sinfulness than his. The following excerpts struck me: “God created us to exist in a constant state of desire and appetite.” There is tension in this continuous struggle of what I want versus what is the best for me and those around me. And in my example here, what God wants for me in my life. How do my desires and appetites line up with who I am to be and who He is shaping me to be?

In one of my favorite books, Franny & Zooey by J.D. Salinger, Zooey tries to attain spiritual purification by obsessively reiterating the "Jesus prayer" as an antidote to the perceived superficiality and corruptness of life. She painfully tries to "pray without ceasing" and endures so much stress and pressure at such an insurmountable task (some may think not) that she suffers a breakdown. I worry that the same false forced spirituality could be applied in how we weigh and gauge our daily to-dos and wants. Could you become obsessive in evaluating righteous and desires that you become a religious zealot? You might look kind of silly if you took it to an extreme; at the grocery store you pick up a box of Pepperidge Farm Milano cookies… “Ok, Lord, is this what you want me to desire at this moment or am I acting out of my own selfish motives?” I think this could easily veer too far on the side of Gnosticism, wherein one “puts to death” the physical aspect and denies the body’s very human urges. Some Gnostic monks would be so heretical as to deny themselves of food, water and the necessary items of human survival.

So then, what drives my day? I believe that we are free agents that have the option to choose whether we eat, drink, or surf the web at 1am. I also believe that we have precious time on this earth as our life. So we should ultimately choose well.

All mankind are like grass,
and all their glory is like the flowers of the field.
The grass withers and the flowers fall,
but the word of our God stands forever.
Isaiah 40:6

Another excerpt from the same book I quoted before, called, To Train Up A Child by Michael & Debi Pearl, they make this point about raising a child: “His growing humanity will give way to a desire to build, to know, to be appreciated, to be recognized, to succeed, to be a lover, and to survive in a secure state of being”.

This is not too far off from what any of us want on a given day or a given man’s life.

To be known, appreciated, loved and to succeed…God created these wants and desires and they are good in the nature that God himself fufills them. I know that the Lord is not a detached watchmaker who has left us to our own devices to unravel what he intended to be beautiful. There is still beauty, justice, passion, growth, renewal and goodness as we draw closer to Him. Then and only then can we truly know that our intentions and inclinations will be close to the heart of God. As we abide in Christ and submit to the Holy Spirit, He is able to work in and through us as He desires to do so within us all.

Each of us inevitable,
Each of us limitless-each of us with his or her
right upon the earth,
Each of us allow’d the eternal purports of the earth,
Each of us here as divinely as any is here.
-Salut au Monde, Walt Whitman

you seem like a soilder who's lost his composure
you're wounded and play a
waiting game
in no man's land no one's to blame

Gomez's lyrics in "See the World" hits hard as I sit here reflecting on some recent news... wondering where/what God has for our family at the moment. often times we feel as if we are constantly outsiders- juxtaposed between two beliefs, two movements, unable to be pigeonholed into one catergorical stereotype. this does not prevent those on the fringe of our world at attempting to push us into the box that they believe we belong in. one couple, when trying typecast us into the role or character(s) we portray in their screenplay, decided we were...urban. you know, citydwellers who have their noses high in the air or stuck in ikea catalogs (I, am not too sure, myself what urban really ensues) Yes, my husband and I in our country cottage overlooking the sea on a hill, a good hour away from any whole foods or metropolitan market are decidely urbanites. to many in our congregation we stand out as... they haven't quite found the word to sum us up yet, but it varies from granola hippie to independent fundamentalists (we used to associate with a church that is dispensational, so that makes us uptight legalists).

this no man's land is truly a tough place to be- not feeling likeminded with really that many. recently labeled too liberal and- well, wordly, I finally want to throw my hands up and wave a white flag. in high school, I wore a diamond stud in my nose as a way to show my childhood friends and teachers that I was NOT the goody-goody they supposed me to be. I sooo fooled them. now, I am not trying to pull the wool over anyone's eyes and set myself apart to shatter someone's expectations of me. i just wish that there could be a little understanding in some hearts. humans are complex and more than republican, democrat, green, hick, urban, whitetrash, conservative, liberal, etc...

Jesus blew people's expectations constantly, even today, many who follow him (or not) have a hard time agreeing on why follow him in the first place. as i am in no way comparing myself to the Saviour of humanity, but instead taking comfort that i should be allright not being "gotten." as the Pharisees were confused that this Jesus of Nazareth was King of Kings? how can anything, let alone anyone good come from there? surely he must be _____(insert stereotypical list above as pertaining to that day and age)

Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.

-Galatians 1:10

Sometimes I think it would be so much easier to slip into a version of myself more easily explained, and just ascribe to that typecast as society defines it. Let me see my script... "ahem.." (clears her throat readying herself for the lines to be read) "Yes, me, Ashley, the (glances at her role to be played today) treehugger environmentalist... I believe that we should reduce greenhouse gases dramatically and save our rivers and streams above all else. we need to buy local and mind the place that we buy our goods from and..." (Nevermind the fact that I now believe this, regardless of the fact that yes, I am a Christian) This could be fun, maybe a bit exausting and schizophrenic, but nonetheless a real goat-getter. Maybe tomorrow I will play the part of a loony legalist.

Acts of worship in Bainbridge

we happened upon a quick day trip out to one of my favorite islands.

there was coffee. art was found in a scavenger hunt manner. we walked. drove the backroads. dreamt of living next to the apple tree and cafe.


here are some of my driving pictures among others

div>

This Day

my card missed the mail in time for June 14th & 15th

sorry
dad.
i sat here today thinking of yet another Father's
Day that has come around without your presence
i thought of a collective amount of memories, teachings and nostalgia about my childhood
memories and thoughts, i am sure that i have
filled past hallmark cards to the brim with

reference to your dedication to our
joy and love for
life:
lessons on the
tetherball
pole,
basketball hoop, bicycle and fishing
pole

even
domestic
wisdom on how to whip a stitch
to fix a button, cook a mean
roast and tend
to the beans in the
garden

for the first
year around
of
having a child of my own, i am holding those
close and begging to not replace them just yet with memories of my own. i am not ready to grow up completely yet and turn all of those experiences into new one's. forgive me for being childish, maybe i never grew up, maybe you were (are) too
good of a dad- enabling me in my fear to relinquish the innocence of growing up with you cheering me on.

riding in the cab of
the
Ford, sticky seats in
the summer with Chissy Hynde
or "Stay(just a
little bit longer)" playing
while dusting sawdust off of your RC
cola.

hunting at the
cabin with snow filled
boots

helping me rescue the baby
starlings who took up
residence in the
shop

crying at
my solo
performances

camping at baker
lake- even when it rained

above it all, you have shown me
more
than life skills and how to tie a
knot-you have unspokenly taught me about family, redemption and what it means to be alive.
we have had our differences and now move past them and
thank you for the person you've helped me become.

i love you more than you know

here's "the" song:

Thank you for all the tea parties with Stump & I.

Love Smasherelli~

How does your garden grow?

Almost exactly a month since my garden has been in, I have been able to reap some of the benefits. The herbs are thriving (especially the lemon balm and chamomile) and beans are growing high! We ate the onions and radishes in the salad last night. I was pleased that the radishes were peppery but not bitter hot. Must be due to the small size. Can't wait for my tomatoes and carrots to start showing!

(left to right) spearmint, peppermint, spanish lavender, nasturtium & radishes


I hope to utilize my herbs for oils, lotions and seasonings for gifts later on. Trying to find a good resource to find out how to "infuse" the oils and teas with the herbs. It will definitely be a trial and error sort of thing when I blend different herbs and find out some don't match too well. A few combinations I know will work:

• lavender+mint
• rosemary+mint
• chamomile+lavender
• mint+basil

I still have sage, lemon balm and oregano to add to the arrangement... please let me know if you have any reccomendations, requests, or thoughts.

Southern Dinner (sort of)

I love to cook, so in deciding what to make for guests (Jamie, Kim and their beautiful 2 daughters) I waffled ten times... Oooh, what about waffles with a creme aglaise sauce??? No. Stick with the menu, Ashley.

Hawaiian Spareribs and Country Style Pork Ribs with Maple Glaze Sauce

Asparagus Potato Salad

Grilled Corn Salad with Pesto Dressing

Homemade Sweet White Bread (rising on the stove right now)

Chocolate Caramel Cream Pie

I have to go make the Pate Sucree(fancy word for the crust- who knew!) right now... Wish me luck. I have only 2 & 1/2 hours left!

Hope my pie looks like the picture above when it's done. Here's the recipe if you want it.

Shout out

This awesome new blog just popped up on the blogosphere. (what the blog?) (honest to blog.)

This guy is intuitive, thoughtful, smart, encouraging and all around cool. Thought you might like to read one of his first blogs.

That's my plug.

Go to Watching the Grass.

Blossoms speak louder than words

the apple blossoms in our yard:

Missed Connections

I was browsing Craig's List for a camera (which I never got around to looking at) and got side-tracked by the interesting listings.

• 
  1 bdrm flats in San Fran. going for $3k/mo! Really? The price to pay to see the Golden Gate requires a golden salary...
• 
  House Swaps: house in Bali for Capitol Hill vacation? French couple looking to swap their 10th arrondissement for a Seattle vacation??? People actually trust the general public to do this?
  
• Lastly, Missed Connections is good stuff. I'd heard jokes about it, but didn't know it truly existed like this...
  
  May 11 - Blonde at Cruisin Carwash coffee stand - m4w - (Port Orchard)
  May 11 - The Manette short black hair and blue jeans - m4w - 24 - (East Bremerton)
  May 9 - Gorgeous Shipyard Rigger - m4w - (PSNS)
  May 8 - clearwater casino may 7th. - m4w - 22 - (clearwater casino)
  May 8 - Thank for for not tazing me - m4w - 30 - (Famous Dave's)
  May 8 - wanting to see you - m4w -
  May 6 - Hostess at Fiesta Jalisco - m4w - 21 - (Port Angeles)
  
  Thank you for not tazing me? Really?
  Gorgeous Shipyard Rigger... now that is a good headline.
  Do people check this regularly? How do you know if someone "hears" your plea? Is it like Love Songs with... Deliah where you dedicate a song to them (Bryan Adams' Everything I Do most likely) and HOPE they are listening? (Sorry to break it to you, they probably are not. If they are under the age of 50, that is.)
  
  Funny. Laugh out loud funny, I think.
  
  Have you ever found a 'missed connection'?

tea tea tea

Right Now

drink of choice: Red Rooibos Lavender Tea
listening to: Kate Nash (Foundations)& Kanye w/Chris Martin
favorite colours:Red & Turquoise(would love to see an egg tempura ptng in these two)
pastime: gardening, sowing seeds and all things vegetable
pinning for: a new camera
thinking about: hopping the ferry to Vashon
last movie watched and liked: Shopgirl
favorite item: rescued Remington teal typewriter from my childhood

so freakin excited

she's been making us laugh for a few years now... just thought i would celebrate that with a few of her recent skits- especially since i try (unsuccessfully) to recreate them a whenever a social situation reminds me of an episode. I'll will get help and stop reciting her acts and let you watch them yourself.

Sometimes I feel like I get this excited and can't really express it. I get you surprised-kristen wiig- character, I get you.

Just kidding.






just kidding, i don't like kristen wiig.
just kidding i really do.
just kidding...

i might have to post other videos that i also enjoy, such as the "Penelope" character and the target cashier. Oh, and the "two a-holes" (their titling, not mine)

Taxidermy

I already posted this picture on myspace, but I just think it is too good to waste in one place. Gray's Harbor is something else.

Beautiful flicks

Movie night tonight. (This is Dirk's Fri. night, so we partied hard with 2 movies and a curry salmon dinner.)

Watched two visually stimulating films: Darjeeling Limited and Across the Universe. I've been meaning to see them for sometime now, and we finally got the chance. Here are some of the images I found spectacular.

Across the Universe

Darjeeling Limited

The next movie I have in my queue is: Quiet City directed by Aaron Katz

The Beatles

I am a little unclear on why exactly iTunes is not featuring The Beatles. Something about Paul McCartney not agreeing with some of the contract details of iTunes...(?) Anyway, as I live in such an instant gratification world, I hop onto iTunes to download some of my favorites that have been floating through my head as I paint- only to be disappointed to find nothing with the group together. Also as I hummed and sparsely sang some of the words to Eleanor Rigby, I discovered that Dirk is not familiar with that song... We sang it in music class in 4th grade. Wonder if that would be done today... Hmmm, for some reason I highly doubt it.

Songs I want to hear over and over again lately:

-A Day In the Life

-Michelle (my Belle....)

-Blackbird

-Strawberry Fields Forever

-When I'm Sixty-Four

-Martha My Dear

while i am waiting for Apple to get it together, I am happily painting and creating to my new (as in the past year and a half) favorite favorite singer: Joanna Newsom. Her harp, flighty youthful notes make me dance and lose inhibitions and I sing Clam, Crab, Cockle, Cowrie at the top of my lungs.

listen to her song THE SPROUT & THE BEAN:

Yahoo, Don't Quit Your Day Job

seems like they would be found on the Onion, but these are actual news stories. Are Yahoo and Fox news cousins or dysfunctional brother and sister? If so, I wonder which one is the girl and which one is the boy. I think Yahoo would be the girl...

Anway, this just in:

Study shows life was tough for ancient Egyptians (really, I thought it was a cakewalk)

Police investigate teen party, find nothing but RootBeer (apparently Good Morning America ran this story, too. glad I don't already watch that show, otherwise this would be one reason to quit)

Uncertain Economy Awaits Next President (Uncertain economy? No, I am perfectly fine with my sub-prime loan that ended in foreclosure while pumping $5/gal. gas into my car. My $600 stimulus check will take care of everything ObamaHilaryMcCain!)

Sourdough Bread

Made some sourdough bread yesterday from my dad's cherished sourdoug starter. I grew up with my dad keeping a blue vintage mason jar on top of the fridge filled with bubbly sour smelling sourdough starter. I remember people from his work and friends of the family pinning for a cup or so of his vintage batch he'd had for 10+ years. What old yeast!

It wasn't "sour" enough, but I may try and add some more sugar to the starter next time for the yeast to " eat". It turned out sumptuous, though, if I do say so myself. Next time I will definitely roll pesto into the center. Can't wait.

I will keep trying to perfect it! Let me know if you have any special bread recipes~

Sourdough Bread Recipe
3¼ hours 2½ hours prep 2 loaves
1
cup sourdough starter
6
cups all-purpose flour
1 (1/4
ounce) package active dry yeast
1 1/2
cups water
3
tablespoons sugar
3
tablespoons butter
1
teaspoon salt

cornmeal
Bring sourdough starter to room temperature.
In a large mixing bowl combine 2-1/2 cups of the flour and the yeast; set aside.
In a saucepan heat and stir water, sugar, butter, and salt just until warm (120-130 deg.) and butter almost melts.
Add to flour mixture.
Add sourdough starter.
Beat with until mixed and smooth, scraping bowl.
Stir in as much of the remaining flour as you can.
On a lightly floured surface knead in enough of the remaining flour to make a moderately stiff dough that is smooth and elastic.
Shape into a ball.
Place dough in a lightly greased bowl, turning once to grease surface.
Cover and let rise until doubled.
Punch dough down.
Turn out on a lightly floured surface.
Divide in half.
Cover and let rise for 10 minutes.
Lightly grease a large baking sheet and sprinkle with cornmeal.
Shape each half of the dough into a ball, place on baking sheet, flatten to about a 6-inch circle.
With a sharp knife make crisscross slashes, 1/4 inch deep, on the top of the loaves.
Cover and let rise 30 minutes.
Preheat oven to 375-deg.
After heated place bread in oven and steam.
Bake in oven for 30-35 minutes, or till bread tests done.
Cool on a wire rack.