This time in my life is and will be like no other. The song lyric that continues to permeate through my brain is tom petty's line "The waiting is the hardest part"...
In case you are wondering what I am waiting for, it is the arrival of our baby boy- most likely to be named Reed Paul Jackson. With over a week of pre labor signs and trips to the hospital in vain, I have succumbed to the thought that I will be forever pregnant.
Of course this isn't true, but it's a much easier (pessimistically) thought to embrace rather than the opposite: "Is it now?" "Maybe this is it." "Maybe he'll be a Thanksgiving baby!"...
As we all know, Thanksgiving has come and gone, along with my hopes of expelling this child in an early fashion.
Please do not mistake my cynicism as- well, as cynicism! He'll come in due time.
In the meantime, I have enjoyed these days of quiet "knowing-ness" of my husband and I. As we both bitterly await the delivery, we also covet these peaceful mornings that we mull around. This morning we enjoyed a breakfast of freshly baked orange cinnamon rolls, d'ajou pears and wonderfully made coffee. Sitting at the "cafe" table we discussed last night's revelations of the Proust Questionnaire and the authors mentioned in it. One of them being Alain de Botton- the writer of Status Anxiety. A book that I had bought at Powell's in Portland a few years back on a "getaway" Dirk and I relished when we really had no reason to "get away"...
(Sometimes I think the place and time you buy a book are as much pivitol in the consumption of the book itself. Take my copy of the Idiot by Dostoevsky, for example. I bought it in the Left Bank, American bookstore in Paris- Shakespeare & Co. on the last day we had there. I love to flip to the back of the book and find that Shakespeare & Co. stamp)
This book refers to many mainstream "success" philosophies and contrasts them in the background of art, religion, and community. Taking Thoreau's Walden as almost the antithesis of this society's striving for the upper hand. One of the great quotes Dirk pointed out was along the lines of- "to give up pretentions is every bit as gratifying as to receive them..." meaning that we strive for THINGS far too much, but to not have them at all is far more beneficial... to want what you have, and have what you want...etc.
I could write much more about the books we've consumed and theories we've discussed (Chaos, Butterfly, String, Synchronicity...) in reminiscence of Dirk's college psychology days at Western... but that might bore you. We're going to walk down by the marina and possibly scour the library bookshelves for a few morsels of goodness. ( I hate the word morsel, by the way)
In case you are wondering what I am waiting for, it is the arrival of our baby boy- most likely to be named Reed Paul Jackson. With over a week of pre labor signs and trips to the hospital in vain, I have succumbed to the thought that I will be forever pregnant.
Of course this isn't true, but it's a much easier (pessimistically) thought to embrace rather than the opposite: "Is it now?" "Maybe this is it." "Maybe he'll be a Thanksgiving baby!"...
As we all know, Thanksgiving has come and gone, along with my hopes of expelling this child in an early fashion.
Please do not mistake my cynicism as- well, as cynicism! He'll come in due time.
In the meantime, I have enjoyed these days of quiet "knowing-ness" of my husband and I. As we both bitterly await the delivery, we also covet these peaceful mornings that we mull around. This morning we enjoyed a breakfast of freshly baked orange cinnamon rolls, d'ajou pears and wonderfully made coffee. Sitting at the "cafe" table we discussed last night's revelations of the Proust Questionnaire and the authors mentioned in it. One of them being Alain de Botton- the writer of Status Anxiety. A book that I had bought at Powell's in Portland a few years back on a "getaway" Dirk and I relished when we really had no reason to "get away"...
(Sometimes I think the place and time you buy a book are as much pivitol in the consumption of the book itself. Take my copy of the Idiot by Dostoevsky, for example. I bought it in the Left Bank, American bookstore in Paris- Shakespeare & Co. on the last day we had there. I love to flip to the back of the book and find that Shakespeare & Co. stamp)
This book refers to many mainstream "success" philosophies and contrasts them in the background of art, religion, and community. Taking Thoreau's Walden as almost the antithesis of this society's striving for the upper hand. One of the great quotes Dirk pointed out was along the lines of- "to give up pretentions is every bit as gratifying as to receive them..." meaning that we strive for THINGS far too much, but to not have them at all is far more beneficial... to want what you have, and have what you want...etc.
I could write much more about the books we've consumed and theories we've discussed (Chaos, Butterfly, String, Synchronicity...) in reminiscence of Dirk's college psychology days at Western... but that might bore you. We're going to walk down by the marina and possibly scour the library bookshelves for a few morsels of goodness. ( I hate the word morsel, by the way)
2 comments:
There are few words uglier than "morsel."
just a few. i think bupkis would top morsel many times over.
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