Today is not Friday

Friday usually seems to be the day that things wind down, we all take a deep breath and welcome the weekend with open arms- letting the anxiety of the week pass over our heads and duck into the "weekend mode" for a few days... However it seems rather impossible to do that, as this morning, I feel the constant tugg (I like two 'g's for that word right now) of nauseating morning sickness- I have been bombarded with a stream of rather surprising items of news... News dealing with life and death, as I sit here blurry-eyed at my desk, begging the workday to fly by.

On a "must read now" myspace email, I hear the news that a close friend of the family attempted suicide last night. This jolted me in my sip of tea as I tried to make sense of this...
Another close friend welcomed their new baby into the world on Tuesday morning- announcing the news on Grit City- Tacoma's News Tribune Blog. (the father is a writer for that blog, and the mother is an editor of the TNT).
Lastly, I hear news in a relatively light email from my "Janet" (technically my step-grandmother, but she is way to close to us to call "step" and also way to young and vivacious to call "grandma"...) to thank us for attending her retirement party last weekend. And "oh, by the way", your Papa has Prostate Cancer and will begin surgery soon @ Swedish... The Cape Cod visit has been put on hold until this is "taken care of".

I can't help but feel an overwhelming sense of- ???? give me all of the emotions in the book and I could tell you I feel them all, but also feel none of them. Not to get all extetential on you, but I am just left with almost a feeling of apathy. Maybe it is due to weeks of mood swings and extreme emotion- and now to come down and hear this news, I feel a jolt to my core, but what is left lingering is ___. In anticipation of meeting with one of my friends later (I have cut my social life down to almost nil..) I wonder if I will act "upbeat and lively"- to put away my cynical and depressed duldrum. It is sometimes hard to be transparent with someone who is far from understanding what you are currently going through.

I was about to apologize for this depressing blog, but I thought better of it.